After spending a day trying to catch a glimpse of a waterfall in a national park full of tourists I had a sudden idea, for a new breed of theme park. Something called ‘Alternative World Park.’ It’s got success written all over it. I’m basing it on one of the underlying ideas behind quantum mechanics, namely that every day we make a number of choices that define where we ultimately end up. However, each time we make that choice, it is possible that our body could have gone in the other direction, and in fact, according to quantum mechanics, did go in that direction, only in an alternative reality, therefore splintering our being into a multitude of different realities.
Once visitors enter the park they are faced with four trails, each identical to each other. They then have to choose which they will follow. This is where the quantum mechanics comes in. Each time they have to choose between the four trails they will be creating four different realities as it is possible they could have travelled down each of the trails. Hence, it is very possible that they will have chosen to enter into an ‘alternative reality’, because who really knows what is reality and what is not these days anyway.
There will be a sign every 50m declaring ‘You are 50m into an alternative reality,’ ‘You are 100m into…’ and so on. Each trail will only be about 500m in length as any longer and there would need to be some sort of costly transport infrastructure for all those fat-ankled burger-munchers, and that reality is too much bother. At the end of the trail will be a massive red dot and a sign “You are at the center of an alternative universe.’ Next to this will be a slide, allowing for the possibilities of both static and motive pictures to mark this special occasion.
Along the trails there will be a number of rocks, onto which will be glued penny coins, just out of reach of the public. People will see these coins, think that maybe they will get good luck from flicking a coin onto that rock and duly oblige to throw all their money away. With a method like this for gaining income I believe free entrance may be a viable option.
On the way out, people can vote as to which reality they thought was the best, when in fact each was identical to the last and so is kind of pointless anyway. People like to vote though, of this I am sure.
Hot dogs will cost £15, bottles of water £19.99, alternative reality videos using old CCTV footage spliced together with a few photos will be available for £50.
If anyone is interested in funding this venture please get in touch.
Next time maybe I should choose not to go to huge tourist attractions on a Sunday in a bank holiday weekend.